The You, You Are and The You Others SEE

I am and always have been an open book, maybe because I just like to talk. I found a report card from 2nd grade cleaning out what will be MarleeJ's room and at the bottom in comments it said "a pleasant child who loves to talk" I guess I was born talking and have never shut up...  I am taking it as a positive for the me I am, for the me others see, I will leave that up to you.

We are approaching the 6th month of the adoption process; truth is I am approaching 45yrs in this process, Rodney 40, Lake 18 and Mitch, all 20 of his years because every step that we have taken a has lead us to this moment.  I say that in the confidence from when we started this walk of faith we were faced with the realization of "The You Others SEE" it sounded like this: "you are not normally what we see in adoptive parents" "colorful story" those statements sent me off in the biggest paper chasing, reference letter getting, life writing, box checking, praying "not normal adoptive parent" fact finding mission I had ever been on, called "The Homestudy". We have lived every one of those years, months, weeks, days, minutes and seconds that did not look like what others were use to seeing,, and now asked to defend the "not normal, "the YOU others see"  Rodney and I both are BLESSED with "not normal families" and blessed beyond our ability to truly explain.

As we are approaching our last home visit for the Home Study and checking all the boxes for the must have completed: railing for the stairs, additional smoke detectors and a few odds and ins, I am forced to realize we will never look like "what anyone is use to seeing".  The truth, its not easy to explain 3 Divorces (with all remaining as friends & fam"ily"): china only allows 2 divorces, maybe the references written by the formers helped strike one!  History of Grief The loss of a child; a major undertaking to support your stability to parent moving forward. strike two! ADHD and medicated (this kinda' makes me giggle) the drug is listed as a  psychotropic again a must to support your only use for the drug, not giggling at the process but the fact that Mitch always knew if I had not taken my Meds... with a sweet comment of  "your not medicated today are you?"  believe it or not .. I can TALK a lot more un-medicated!! strike three!   I GUESS.. I would have made everyone's job a little easier if I would have not went backwards into the  ADOPTION PROCESS although Rodney reminds me daily... "why do you think its about you making anything any easier for anyone, Gods gotta' plan, he has had a plan and created us by the plan!"  I love him for the "him he is"

We are in love with a little girl we have never met and yet we have no fear in loving her with #CraZyBiGLoVe because God said "this is the YOU, YOU are!!

(I just found this post.. not posted, not sure why) written a couple weeks ago

loving you today, until tomorrow 

Marlee'J Bily "because I love you"

B.I.L.Y  =  Because I love you
granted the approval to share the name from a dear soul Kota Bily - I fell in love the moment I met him and he loves with a great love; a true friend to Lake through it all <3 
 
Rodney has worked so hard to prepare her the perfect space of her own - He sure makes this 120yr old house a HOME <3  I am so in love  with the hearts filling up to start her story of #CrAZyBiGLoVe  

Thank you for loving us all the way to china and back!

today I am thankful for another mother, who unknowingly stood me on my feet with hope and helped me catch my breath <3

loving you today, until tomorrow